Does this look like the face of a guy who just got into a fight?
Rob Kardashiantweeted in the wee hours of the morning: "I just got into a fist fight in the bathroom at a club. Wow. I can't feel my face. At least I got mine in. Pu**y didn't wanna step outside."
Above is a shot of Rob we got as he was leaving the club. Looks fine to us.
Britney Spears is admitting to being a devil-worshiping Satan fanatic who embraces a "new world order" ... at least according to her Twitter page.
Turns out her Twitter account was hacked by a cyber-demonic force this morning ... and we're not talking about Sam Lutfi. Along with giving "Glory to Satan," the background to her page has gone from images of her "3" video ... to pyramids inscribed with the name of the alleged secret society Illuminati.
Chances are unless new world order and Illuminati are the names of indie bands, Brit has no clue what those terms mean. And as for the praise for Lucifer, everyone knows Britney doesn't speak in tongues ... she lip-synchs.
"Halloween" star Danielle Harris was just thrust into a real-life horror sequel -- when her longtime alleged stalker started following her again ... on Twitter. DUN DUN DUN!
Harris was granted a restraining order on October 28 against Christopher Small -- the same guy who was arrested for stalking her back in 1995.
This time around, Danielle claims he's been Trick-or-Tweeting her with messages like "by now you must realize i AM/was your real life" and "you will ROCK...you always did! ... Stalkr-approved =) ."
According to the restraining order, Small has to stay 200 yards away from Harris until 2012.
The only thing more ridiculous than Wendy Williams' pit stains on her show this morning: The war Shanna Moakler ignited with the Kardashians by calling Khloe a "donkey."
After Shanna talked about not being invited to "the donkey's wedding" on Wendy's show, the Twitter-verse exploded -- with Khloe's friend Jonathan Cheban Tweeting Shanna was a "dirty whore" and Khloe chiming "I have no idea who this girl is but I guess she is talking about me. Talk on honey... I can care less LOL."
Like any dependable celebrity these days, Shanna also said sorry via Tweet, saying "you are right. We don't know each other personally and I apologize for my comment this morning."
Levi Johnston's manager has launched an ultimatum to Conan O'Brien's show over last night's William Shatner sketch: "If they don't retract, we'll sue."
NBC had no official comment, but an insider at "The Tonight Show" tells us they'll be addressing the issue on the air tonight -- and Shatner twittered he will be back for another appearance. Coincidence? We think not.
Yesterday, Shatner read what was represented as posts from Levi's Twitter account, making him look like a racially insensitive pothead -- but as we first reported, Levi's reps say the famous Palin-impaler doesn't even have a Twitter account ... or a Facebook, or a Myspace.
Levi's attorney tells us he's already dealing with Twitter over the fake account.
Levi Johnston is furious over a William Shatner skit on Wednesday's "Tonight Show"-- in which Levi was made to look like a racially insensitive pothead -- claiming the outrageous Twitter posts Conan attributed to Levi were fake.
Rex Butler -- Levi's lawyer -- tells TMZ the Alaskan is demanding a retraction from NBC. What really pisses Butler off ... before Shatner's dramatic reading of Levi's putative Twitter page, Conan said: "All real ... we did not make these up."
Butler says the Twitter page is NOT Levi's and that, "We are in the process of dealing with Twitter first. I think they have an obligation once something like this happens to make some kind of corrective measure."
Among the Tweets that were read poetry-style by Shatner ... "Anybody know where I can get some good weed" and "Whats the deal with the taxi drivers not speaking English, is there a law against it?"
Lindsay Lohan just unloaded on her father -- slamming Michael for releasing the audio from a personal phone conversation between the two of them.
Linds posted the following message on her Twitter page:
"My fathers such a loser & those recordings are from years ago.
To release personal things is foul enough, but to edit them. I used to think That he needed the book for dummies on learning how to be a father.
Haha-he's needs the book for dummies on HOW TO BE A MAN."
As we previously reported, LiLo is working on getting a restraining order against Michael -- and her lawyer could also file a defamation suit on her behalf.
Lindsay Lohan is not trying to get a restraining order against her dad ... but we've learned mama Dina is angling to do just that.
Our sources say Dina Lohan has been contacting Lindsay's lawyer, the effervescent Shawn Chapman Holley, ever since LiLo's last court appearance last month.
We're told Dina has asked S.C.H. to go to court on Lindsay's behalf and get an order keeping dad away from daughter. We're told Chapman Holley made it clear ... Lindsay is an adult and can apply for a restraining order if she wants, but Dina has no business in Lindsay's business.
Shawn Chapman Holley told TMZ Lindsay has not -- repeat NOT -- asked her to get a restraining order.
It's pretty clear -- Lindsay can't stand her dad ... at least for now. But she's not taking it to court.
Jessica Simpson is unloading all of the aggression Ashlee may have been storing after her character was axed from "Melrose Place" -- slamming the show for "crap" writing and praising Ashlee as the only thing worth watching.
Just a few hours ago, Jessica unleashed the following message on her Twitter page:
"CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with,but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press."
Bitter? Nasty? Catty? Maybe they cast the wrong sister on the show.
Liz Taylor saw an advanced screening of the Michael Jackson docu-film "This Is It" last night -- and to say she liked it could be the biggest understatement of all time.
Taylor went to Twitter just moments ago where the star of such Hollywood classics like "Cleopatra," "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" and a ton of other iconic films wrote the following statement about "This Is It":
"It is the single most brilliant piece of filmmaking I have ever seen."
Liz continued, "I wept from pure joy at his God given gift. There will never, ever be the likes of him again." UPDATE: Taylor is blasting Tweet after Tweet ... she just referred to Michael as a "modern day prophet."
It appears Chris Brown was having a hardcore emotional moment about screwing up his relationship with Rihanna -- 'cause dude just used his Twitter page to reflect about "The Way We Used to Be."
Just a few hours ago -- around midnight -- Brown linked to a user-made video montage, set to the tune of R. Kelly's "The Way We Used to Be," showing footage of Brown and RiRi before he destroyed her face ... and their relationship. Brown included text with the post that read, " IM SORRY YALL. JUST HAD TO POST IT."
Minutes later, Brown posted a follow up Tweet which read, "FOR THE FELLAS: showing emotion doesn't make u weak... BEING HONEST MAKES U STRONG."
Brown isn't allowed to get within 100 yards of Rihanna -- but the real question here, is he trying to get back together?
While you were Twittering a few minutes ago about the "swift action" coming to Maria, your scofflaw wife was at it again -- jawing away on a handheld cell phone while driving in Brentwood.
But it gets worse ... while Maria was illegally yappin' away (the third time she's been photographed doin' it) she saw our cameraman catching the illegal activity on tape -- and that's when she dropped the phone in an attempt to cover it up! The tape does not lie....
Arnold, the fines are bad enough -- but do you have any idea what your Verizon bill is gonna look like?
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has finally caught wind of his wife's illegal -- and habitual -- cell phone antics ... and now he's finally gonna do something about it!
Ahnald just went on Twitter and dropped the following note to Harvey Levin:
"Thanks for bringing her violations to my attention. There's going to be swift action."
Those Democrats -- they never learn ... right Arnold?
We're guessing it wasn't the horribly tacky Windows 95 poster that enticed people to Arnie Klein's lecture last Saturday -- it was probably the free food and open bar, courtesy of Klein's fat wallet ... but that's just us.
We've learned Klein was in Phoenix last Saturday for a dermatologist convention at the Marriott Desert Ridge Resort Hotel.When it was all over, the good doctor held his very own lecture on Michael Jackson called "Heal the Skin" ... luring crowds with free Italian food and an open bar -- and we're told he paid for all of it.
We spoke to a rep for the hotel's restaurant -- where Klein hosted his talk -- and we're told he rented out a private dining room just for the occasion ... racking up a bill of at least $6,000. And that didn't even include the bar tab.
He claims on Twitter he talked about real problems with the FDA and Drug Companies ... but we're guessing people didn't hear much over the sound of mouths munching.